Second opinions

Bored? Like to be intellectually stimulated? Yeah, I bet you do. I bet you think you're pretty great. Maybe you are, but personally, one of my peeves is people who are boastful and think too highly of themselves to a obnoxious extent.

Sorry. What I meant to say was go here and read some reviews on food at McSweeney's Reviews of New Food. The title is somewhat false, because a lot of this food is not new. But it is entertaining and may or may not build your appetite. Here's an excerpt from one review:

"Then I'm slicing this bagel with the same knife I'd always used to slice bagels before I was only a guest here. I'm terrified of the familiarity of it. I know without looking in the drawer exactly which knife I want. I use this knife as if I own it and then realize too late what I'm doing and the knife is screaming, "Who touched me?" There's a thing in the Bible like this, about a bleeding woman who touches the cloak of Jesus and is healed but then won't confess to having done it. I try to erase my using of the knife, wash it and dry it and replace it in the drawer where I found it, the point facing in the same direction it was facing before. "Who touched me?" Oh, no. Not me. You can't blame me for this."

Mela - South End

OK, first, this is a piece of potato they gave me when I sat down
here--apparently it's complimentary and also it has garnish. Complimentary slice of slightly fried potato? Check.

Tubers aside, Mela is a somewhat gaudy and somewhat formal Indian restaurant in the South End. It's small, well-staffed, mood lit, and decorated in a manner that does not coincide with my personal aesthetic preferences--which is fine, I guess. But the tables do look like glitter with glass plates put over them and the tables are really close together--so much that as I discussed certain explicit topics with my dining partner that the couples next to us were subject to the visual imaginings of my descriptions and my numerous, vague, sweeping stereotypes I make often and without shame. I'm not sure if that last one is a plus or minus for the restaurant.

What matters here, though, is the food. I'm not going to attempt to remember the names of the dishes we ordered because--simply put, I can't. Except for chicken tiki masala, but that's a given. Along with the rice and garlic naan there was a lamb, spinach, and cheese dish and an appetizer of amazing fried fish battered in mild spices with a salty kick. I have had various and many thick Indian sauce and curry type flavors, which I find pleasing, Mela is no exception and the quality is discernibly higher than other restaurants. The highlight was definitely those fried fish hoursderves: tender white flesh, crisply battered, light and airy with just enough seasoning.

The prices are somewhat high, but probably not enough to justify the level of quality. You'll be hard pressed to try and find something as well-prepared as those fried fish tenders at another Indian place though. Yes, I know it's a simple dish, but simple is often not done well. The staff is very friendly, soft spoken and do not rush--very attentive. Did I mention the yogurt sauce? It's great, ask for it and put it on everything edible in sight; you will not regret it.


578 Tremont St., Boston, MA 02116, 617 859 4805, www.melaboston.com

Espresso Royale Cafe - Back Bay

ERC is a good place. This is no understatement--it's difficult to find a place that is consistent on multiple levels of service, quality and cost.

Your standard cafe setup here with a slew of hot and cold drinks of the caffeinated variety along with breakfast-esque food options. Prices are certainly reasonable and the tastiness level is more than satisfactory. Bagels are thick and chewy with a crisp outer layer--my suggestion is the "everything" bagel which has a satisfyingly crunchy outer layer with a salty bite.

For around $5 you can get the Jackson Crook which aside from being a sweet name entails your choice of bagel with sliced tomato, scallion cream cheese and bacon. This is definitely the high power among breakfast and early morning liquids choices so stay away from Dunkin' Donuts, Starbucks, and the like if you're within distance of an ERC. Another plus is their bike-friendly attitude which reveals itself in the form of a discount at times as well as a usual mob of bike messengers slinking around inside or outside. I enjoy that.

Multiple locations around Boston in Allston, Newbury St., and Symphony make its presence known, but not overbearing. Their coffee and other hot drinks I've heard are of excellent quality, but as a non-coffee drinker I'll have to take others' word for it.

288 Newbury St., Boston, MA 02115, 617 859 9515, www.espressoroyale.com

My suggestion

Instead of getting a junior whopper at Burger King or eating a bag of cheese doodles or putting something chock full of preservatives in the microwave--it might be a good idea to try something more "raw" in a sense. Genoa salami, fresh wedge of cheddar, Italian spiced olives, and stoneground wheat crackers make for a filling meal (we've surpassed snacks here). If you look down at your food and feel as though you may be in the rickety kitchen of a farmhouse in the Midwest circa the westward expansion then you probably have a pretty good sense of taste.