A story about lobsters

I have a few things to say about these shining red knights of the sea. Did you know that lobster was once considered a poor man's steak? There were even referred to as the rats of the sea. Incredulous yet? Ironic, now that lobster meals often cost much more than a steak. But, let's get to the point--and the point is that I ate three lobsters.

The plate, or platter rather, was set before me like a miniature barracks of aquatic heroes. Three glistening warriors equipped with pincer weapons and scarlet armor challenged me to a battle for gustatory victory. Stalwart as ever, I accepted the daunting challenge. For don't we all live for battle?

After many a crackling of steel and bone and carapace, all that was left was a graveyard of fallen heroes. Nay, this trio of warriors never returned to their Atlantean paradise. For eternity they reside in the netherworld. After the war drums were silenced, I sat up wearily and brushed the white blood of my victims off my beard and jaw.

May the Gods forgive us for our petty wars.